One of the intrinsic rewards of teaching are personal victories with students. We are only three weeks into the school year and Ive already experienced three victories. Actually four. The fourth came by way of reaching an understanding with my assistant about my teaching style and how I wanted discipline to occur in my classroom. I modeled my style, I discussed why I handled the children in the manner I chose and I gave her instructions on how to use constructive guidance rather than punitive discipline. I noticed her adjusting quickly and handling the children differently within a week. <<Insert Smiley Face>>
My biggest victory was with my student with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. I've heard about this child all summer. He is a returning student who gave his teacher the previous year holy hell. He has a diagnosed language disorder but his behavioral-learning disability hasn't been identified. I was told this was largely due to the child's mother refusing to 'admit' her son has a concern... Based on our policies and procedures, this is also because the teacher neglected to document incidents of concern.
So, I was warned that this child was a 'wanderer' and that he needed strong discipline. When I met the child I was expected an unruly, disrespectful four-year-old who would cause chaos and confusion. Instead I met a child that was quiet and preoccupied with playing with the table blocks. While his Spanish-speaking mother got reacquainted with my assistant, I stood close to the child and watched. He walked around the room until he noticed the restroom. The he opened the door, pulled down his pants and pee'd. He was the only child who did this while visiting the classroom prior to school starting... Very independent and non-apprehensive. Then he washed his hands and saw the blocks on the table. He sat down and began building. He build a tall tower that stood until the next day when I put the blocks away. His visit was only 10 minutes so I didn't get to see his true colors, per say. But what I did see was a quiet child who had self-help skills that was also able to play by himself.
Once school started and he got comfortable, I saw the 'wanderer' I was told about. It took 3 days. And it was less of a wander and more of a running bolt to the blocks, every chance he got. At first it was simply exhausting, repeating myself "Back to the carpet. It's not time to play with the blocks." He would return to the carpet, but soon as I thought he would stay and listen to the story or sing-along... Nope... running bolt to the blocks. Then it got frustrating, then my ego stepped in. "I said, back to the carpet!" And he would go back, but he wouldnt stay for long. And when he was on the carpet he was spinning around with his arms extended, smacking children on the head. Or he was jumping and falling on other children. Or he was taking off his shoes and tossing them in the air. Then one of the teacher assistants would come in the room, or worse my manager, and see the confusion and they would comment, "You have to be firm with him.... You need help with him because he is disturbing your class." My ego would say, "Its okay, I got this."
Then the breakthrough. On day 4, I got upset. I was frustrated (and growing angry) because I thought he was intentionally punking me. Yes, he has a disability- language. Yes, he most likely has another disability- based on his delayed language, his preoccupation with blocks and puzzles, his reluctance to interact with other children, and his tendency to place his hands over his ears when he is over-stimulated. Yes, I was well aware of all his qwerks, but I was also tired of what I felt was a power-struggle. So I sat him down and refused to allow him to go to the table until he agreed "No corre in the classroom." (<----- Never said I was bilingual... Which is a whole nutha post.) I would say, "No corre. Comprende?" And he would say, "NO!" Again, "No corre in the salon. Comprende?" Him, "NO!" Me, "It's time for comida pero you no come until you comprende! No corre in la clase! Si?" Him, "No!" Then I thought, okay maybe he doesnt understand me. So i asked, "Quedes comer? Do you want to eat?" Him, "Yes!" Riiight, so you do understand.... So we sat there, in the classroom library. The children began eating and he began crying. "Eat! Eat!" Me, "NO! No corre in la clase. I can't allow you to hurt yourself or the other children. Comprende?" Him, "Yes." Me, "No corre?" Him, "No corre." Bien. So, I felt like I won. We had reached an understanding.... That was until lunch was over. As soon as he got up, he walked to the carpet. Stayed there long enough to extend his arms, spin around in 3 circles then bolt to the blocks center across the room. All I could do was sigh.
I spent my lunch break on the internet. Search: Discipline Problems Children with Asperger's. I found much valid information about the syndrome and ways to manage it. Most helpful, and the catalyst to my victory, was my understanding that his wandering, his repetitive (predictable) bolt to the blocks, and his wide-armed spinning was not intentional misbehavior. Not in the sense of 'cutting up'. He is wired differently. Whereas some children can go to the carpet and wait for me to get there- sit and wait or begin wresting with other children- but wait for me; he cannot. When we sing a song he likes, he will engage. When we have finger plays that interest him, he will engage. But the second he is no longer interested, his mind says "BLOCKS!" And he has to return to the blocks and explore what they offer. My forcing him to sit and agree to not run in the classroom was futile. He does not connect his behavior with the discipline I gave. Specifically because he cannot control, not yet, his urge to run to the block center. And as for his arm spinning. When I stopped him and held his arms saying, "No spinning, you hit your classmate." He looked at me then held his own arms together, then placed his arms behind his back and held them... I almost cried. He understood what was expected of him, obviously someone has corrected him before and made him hold his own arms to stop the spinning. But, again. He is wired differently. If he could control his behavior, I think he would... As much as any other four-year-old would. But, he cannot. And because he cannot it is cruel of me to punish him for something beyond his control.
So, now I hold him. When he begins to run around the room I hold him. Not to restrain him, but to help his brain catch up with his body. I sing, "You are a good boy. You are a sweet boy. You are a smart boy. And you can do anything you make your mind up to do. Shhhhhh... Shhhhhh..." I hold him like I would want someone to hold my child when she needs it." I hold him and let him know it's okay, I understand. And now he smiles at me. He talks me too. He is my lunchtime helper. Yes he still bolts to the blocks, but now I let him stay there for awhile to play by himself.... And now, when another child wanders from Circle Time to play in blocks with him, I can hear him tell them "No! Go Carpet, No!" Lol... It's truly the little things.
Check out the links for more general information on Asperger's Syndrome:
* http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Articles/Asperger-Syndrome.aspx
* http://www.autism-society.org/files/2014/04/LWA_Supporting-AppropriateBehavior.pdf
* http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/12/aspergers-children-and-discipline.html
* http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/How-to-discipline-a-child-with-Aspergers-that-wont-listen.cfm
* http://www.livestrong.com/article/87074-discipline-child-aspergers/
* http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-alive/201211/why-claim-aspergers-is-overdiagnosed
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